Okay so I am a notoriously fast walker. I may have short legs and need to take 2 steps to every adult step but if I have somewhere to be you better get out of my way even if I am in heels…or especially when I am in heels rather (except at some weddings when the de stabilisation effects of alcohol negates my skill for parading around in heels).
Anyhoo for my aforementioned need to walk anywhere at mach 9 I am loving this idea of introducing tourist lanes on Oxford Street as not only will it prevent innocent tourists from the wrath of my clicking heels behind them but it will mean that walking those walking with a purpose (other than ambling slowly along one of the busiest streets in Europe checking their map and stopping for photo opps) will actually be able to get somewhere without having to weave through side streets and could possibly pick up a sandwich AND pop into H&M during her lunch break without tourist delays – I’m just saying.
In fact, why stop at tourist lanes why can’t we have tourist tube carriages where everyone can inquire loudly to each other; “What subway do I take to Lie chester Square?”, tourist escalators that can be littered with luggage and people standing on both the left and the right and a tourist Top Shop just full of clothes that have been seen on Madonna’s daughter or Suri Cruise.
Look at me being all ‘I’m a local’. Who am I kidding, the second I open my mouth I’d be banned to the tourist tube forced to wear an I Love London t-shirt, jeans, running shoes and a fanny pack (sorry, bum bag – fanny is a completely different thing altogether here, that’s another post for another day).