On top of the gale force winds I mentioned earlier, our flight was once again, filled with kids…but not just kids…babies, and crying ones at that. My favourite bit was when a woman sat down behind me in the window seat with her 2 year old on her lap…she then continued to speak to him as an adult trying to reason with him to make him stop screaming and kicking. She repeated over and over… ‘what is the matter, you have never done this before’…as if to console the whole airplane that in real life he’s a great kid that never cries. Really, I don’t care if he is a perfect angel on the ground, if he doesn’t stop kicking my chair he’s going to have a rum and Coke on his lap courtesy of the nice lady in front of him….oops sorry ma’am…I have never done that before, I am not sure what’s the matter with me.
As I sat trying to think up a gadget that you could attach to an airplane seat that absorbs the force of a child’s kick without pissing off the person in front of them, the pilot came on telling us that there was severe turbulence ahead….which lasted for 3 hours. At least the turbulence bumps lessened the impact of the 2 year old feet in my back.
Because of the 3 hour turbulence they kept the seatbelt light on…which was strange as the air host/hostesses weren’t particularly bothered if people were going to the toilet while the seat belt sign was lit up. On other airlines, they scream down the aisles or get on the intercom and demand people get back in their seats…on this one they just sat in their jump seats comfortable in the fact that if anything happened their bodies would be way more recoverable in the crash than the losers standing in the queue for the loo’s.
I, having one two many rum and Cokes as part of my plan to get me to sleep, had to go to the bathroom. I figured, if no one else was being shouted at that I would take the risk. Just as I shut the door we hit a huge patch of turbulence and I was convinced that the back end of the plane was going to break off and I was going to plunge to my death in an airplane washroom. Finishing my business as quickly as possible, I washed my hands (alternating washing with holding on to the holy sh*t handles conveniently located in the loos) I unlocked the door and made a mad dash down the turbulent aisle diving across the hubby to belt myself in…for some reason the prospect of dying in my seat was better than the loo…go figure.
Anyway I am happy to be on terra firma…until April when we do it all again for a wedding back in Canada…hopefully by then the pneumonia, laryngitis and stomach flus have cleared up and the chances of a snow storm are greatly reduced (reduced but not eliminated).