Quiet Aunt Zelda…

I am a fairly fast typer which has proven to be pretty useful over my life as I can whiz out emails at lightning speed and blab on endlessly on my blog as it only takes me a few minutes to crack out pages of randomness.

The reason for my speedy typing is that my Mom insisted I take a typing class in high school…luckily, even back then I was a computer nerd so as much as I might have protested (cause I usually protested about anything my Mom said to me when I was a teenager), I actually enjoyed it.

The method we learned to type was to envisage the keyboard as sets of acronyms with each key actually represnting a word in a sentence…we would repeat these (really stupid) sentences over and over until they, and the key locations were ingrained in our brain. The sentences went like this starting at Q, going down then back up to the top at W:

Quiet Aunt Zelda
Willie Sits Exams
Every Dad Cares
Run From Vicky
To Get Betty
Young Harry Never
Uses Joe’s Money
Oh Lloyd Stop (stop being the .)
Please

Now, I am not sure why you were running from Vicky to get Betty but I am figuring Betty was quite a catch.  It is nice to know that every Dad cares however after watching Jeremy Kyle (the UK equivalent to Jerry Springer), I might disagree.  Finally i am not sure what the hell Loyd was up to but at least we were taught to ask him nicely to stop.

I figured that loads of people learned to type this way but I have googled it and it seems like no typing method like this exists in the entire world…or at least that google knows about. 

I feel a bit dumb now as I spent a semester chanting about Aunt Zelda, Vicky and Lloyd…its’ like when Joey on Friends found out that not all tailors measure trouser inseams the way his does…

CHANDLER: Yo,  Can I talk to you for a sec? Your tailor is a very bad man.

JOEY: Frankie? What’re you talking about?

ROSS: Hey, what’s goin’ on?

CHANDLER: Joey’s tailor…took advantage of me.

ROSS: What?

JOEY: No way. I’ve been going to the guy for 12 years.

CHANDLER: He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite-

ROSS: What?

CHANDLER: Cupping.

JOEY: That’s how they do pants. First they go up one side, they move it over, they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn’t that how they measure pants?

ROSS: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whats the matter with you?

JOEY: What? That’s not? Oh my god.

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12 Responses to Quiet Aunt Zelda…

  1. Kirstin says:

    Uh… ya, I gotta tell you that when I went to high school we could not graduate without taking grade 9 typing. But it was the best thing that’s ever happened to me because like you (and i remember your typing, Hammill. You are good… very good) I can crank out some pretty quick e-writing… But never EVER did I learn about Zelda and Floyd! Maybe it wasn’t a typing class at all but a secret ninja recruitment class and if you could crack the code AND perform a double twist back-spring out of a 3rd floor window you would have been whisked off to the Secret School of Spies and your life would have been completely different and full of intrigue and danger! As it is you just learned to type. YOU SUCK (seriously, you’re a good typer, tho. One of the best I’ve seen).

  2. Anonymous says:

    You forgot:
    I KING COMMA

    I was thought the same method in grade school in Ontarion Canada!

    • jbay says:

      So was I! I had crazy dream last night about that crazy type chant and had to google it first thing when I woke up. An indeed, you did leave out I’m Kind Comma! ha

    • adrian says:

      when I came to canada in ’98 I had a ESL teacher who knew and showed me the same way !! Fantastic !!

  3. Anonymous says:

    The method of typing is called The Almena Method. I am actually trying to learn now and think that i will use this as my base.

    • Adrienne says:

      That’s really interesting as I have never heard of anyone (other than my classmates) who has heard of this method. I can confirm that it works really well (well it did for me at least)!! Good luck!

  4. Dave Raven says:

    Visit our Web Site and become an Almena Affiliate earn while you recommend!
    http://www.almenausa.net thanks

  5. T. Skakum says:

    I too learned via the “Quiet Aunt Zelda” method in middle school in Ontario, Canada! We did it in just a couple full day sessions as they were testing the method at the time and we were one of the test classes. To this day I credit that program for my typing skills and am so thankful that we were “forced” to be the guinea pigs for the program.

  6. yash says:

    [img] http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xq4wx3OZlXU/Tmd7WQ1GlzI/AAAAAAAAFk4/UupMQpROMcY/s1600/Cooper+1990+001.jpg [img] Can you believe this card is an actual patent of late 80s to remember qwerty. almena method predecessor.

    • Dave says:

      Almena King-Raven and The Almena Method
      Thank you for the good press. I will show your letter to her. If you would like to thank her personally she can be reached at almenatyping@yahoo.com. Look for the method on you tube. A lot of people don’t get it. They have to watch their fingers type. How stupid. Or ware out the back space key correcting typos.

      Almena is a remarkable lady. She first developed the method in Jamaica. She had 80 students and 6 typewriters.

      Thanks once again.

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