Nervous Nelly and the spider

So I admit I am a bit of a nervous/fearful person. I’ve had a fear of needles since I was 3, developed a fear of flying at 26 and have never liked spiders, down escalators or those door stoppers that look like a spring and make a funny twang noise if you flick them. Over the years however I have become a bit more rational and have been able to talk myself out of some of my fears as I am not nearly as afraid of needles, I am 90% over my fear of flying, think down escalators are a breeze (mainly cause in London they give you about 8 seconds of flat before it drops off which makes it much easier to get on in a rush) and can now get rid of tiny spiders with paper towel or a shoe without too much of a fuss.

With that in mind, the following is a recap of my morning. With my in laws arriving this evening, I took a few minutes before hopping in the shower to tidy up, mainly take down the laundry which was hanging from every possible corner of our flat. While clearing off the radiator of t-shirts I noticed a spider near the tv. This spider was bigger than I would be comfortable squishing with a tissue but okay for me to get with a shoe – however, with the in laws on the way I didn’t want to make a brown gooey mess on the carpet so I opted for the dust buster (spider vacuum).

I calmly without being freaked out walked to the dust buster and sucked it up. With my powerful spider sucker in hand I decided to check behind the curtain to make sure there weren’t any more…bad idea, very bad idea. I pushed back the curtain and saw the biggest spider I have ever seen out of captivity. I dropped my spider sucker and went running and screaming toward my hubby as I would do if some masked murderer was chasing me with a knife. He calmly turned around from making his tea and said ‘what?’ (as opposed to ‘you crazy woman, what’s the matter with you’ – unfortunately this isn’t the first time he has seen this reaction so probably knew what I was about to say)

Barely able to catch my breath I huffed out the word spider a few times with the word huge intermittently thrown in. Of course by this time the tarantula had long gone and no amount of me standing on the couch pointing toward things that it might have disappeared under made it suddenly reappear.

I reluctantly left the room with wobbly knees to continue getting ready for the day while leaving the hubby to sort the situation out. Luckily after about 5 minutes (of me painstakingly looking behind everythign I touched for a brother or sister to my tarantula friend) I was only to happy to find out that my hubby had found the tarantula under the coffee table and had killed it along with its very very much smaller baby which I sucked up earlier.

Honestly I am covered with the heebie jeebies just typing this but am pretty sure that as much as I try to talk myself out of it I just can’t control my fear of spiders or my screaming maniac reaction following my discovery of them near me. I think I come by it honestly though as I seem to recall my mom telling me a similar story (probably with the same uncontrollable scream and run maneuver) when there was a spider in their apartment that was so big she said it made a fluffa fluffa noise when it walked across the carpet.

Fluffa fluffa noise or not I hate them and always will…please if anyone from some fear factor show is reading this, I DO NOT want to get over my fear via hypnosis, acupuncture or being put in a box with spiders. I see no use in befriending these creatures and don’t think I will ever find it useful to be able to hold a tarantula in my hand.

Unfortunately this isn’t the first time we have had a big spider in our flat. I have attached a picture of one we found last summer – for the record, the one this morning was bigger (and that coin beside it is a 2 pound coin which is the same size as a toonie)


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4 Responses to Nervous Nelly and the spider

  1. Lorraine Bentley says:

    Yes your Mom coined the phrase Fluffa Fluffa, but your DAD gets busted! When they moved to North Van. they discovered huge wolf spiders. We are talking oreo cookie size! I use to do fluffa,fluffa duty in their apt. while Dad stood on the couch!(Mom wasn’t far behind).They swear they could hear them (fluffa, fluffa,) coming! From then on a spider was known as Phil’s fluffa fluffa. They kids went to school spelling spider , F L U F F A! Love Aunty L.

  2. Kirstin says:

    Ya, no worries, sister. I think of myself as being pretty, “pfft – phobias, schmobias. I’m bad ass” and yet the other day I saw a mouse in our apartment and literally went “EEEEEEEEEEEE A MOUSE!” a la Wilma Flintstone and jumped on a chair and stayed there for the better part of the day waving a broom for no good reason – I wasn’t even trying to hit the mouse with it, just waving it around cuz that’s what Wilma does.

  3. Izabela Rudd says:

    You are soo funny Adrienne!! I love how you tell your stories. I can not believe the size of that spider in the picture! I too would run and scream like a maniac!!

  4. Pingback: (Another) Unwelcome guest « Adrienne’s blog

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