One of these things is not like the other

I am a big fan of the ready meals as they are often quite yummy and easy to make (ie heat up).  Anyhoo I have never claimed to be a domestic goddess but heating up and serving I am pretty good at….which is why I think I have a false advertising claim against these guys…

One of these things is not like the other

Seriously?  All I did was put it in the oven and serve as per the directions.  Where is the juicy ground beef and the fork like design on the top? I know this is just a serving suggestion as from what I can tell this suggests you go out and buy ground beef and potatoes and make your own as it would take quite the Gordon Ramsey to create that from my dinner puddle.  Can’t complain too much though as it tasted good.

Oh yeah for those inquiring minds (non Brits) that want to know what cottage pie is…its ground beef and mashed potatoes (it can have carrots etc) but is basically what I have been calling Shephards Pie all of my life. Shephards pie is actually ground lamb and mashed potatoes vs ground beef.  Then there is Cumberland pie which is like cottage pie but the top usually has cheese or bread crumbs that makes a nice crust on the top (or so the package leads you to believe)….a wealth of information I am.

PS the hubby just came home to his freshly cooked dinner and asked if it was slop I said yes and he ate it anyway – luckily he’s not picky

WTF? Friday

Love this, in fact I think candy should be integrated into more toys…check out the size of those gumball machines!!

I was never allowed to get candy from coin operated machines as my Mom told me that squirrels and mice crawled up into the machines at night and ate the candy so there were rodent germs on all them.  It’s only now that I realise that rodents probably can’t open the flaps on those machines let alone squeeze their bodies up and lick all my candy….oh well, probably saved me from a few cavities.

Foosball table is available for the low low price of $1,500  – that’s a helluva lot of gumballs

Show us your pearly whites

When I was in the US last week I got to indulge in one of my favourite past times  – shopping.  The great thing about shopping  in America (and Canada) is that you can do it in a ‘mall’.  In one stop you can enter this heaven haven that contains restaurants, movie theatres, clothing-music-shoe-drug-home-toy stores where you can shop/hang out to your heart’s content no matter the weather.

Before you start commenting, yes, the UK does have malls but they aren’t as plentiful as in North America.  Street shopping seems is more popular in the UK where you find all the shops you need down one street with no protection from the elements ie weather, cars.  It is nice when the weather is good but not always practical for somewhere like Canada where it is below zero for 5 months of the year.

I do think though, that the ‘malls’ may be taking this one shop stopping aspect a bit far when I saw this last week

Yup, a teeth whitening booth.  For the low low price of $149 you too can look like a smiling radioactive oddball in the middle of a mall – dare I ask what’s next?

WTF? Friday

So I once saw this comedian doing a bit on warning labels saying that they were often there because someone had actually done what they were warning you about hence they need to warn other idiots people not to do the same ie someone must have tried to put a floor heater in bed with them or tried ironing while taking a bath to warrant said labels on these products.

This theory crossed my mind when I got in a cab last night and saw this sign.  Seriously, this cabbie must have witnessed some serious sh*t to warrant this kind of a sign…

Holy guacamole

So I am in the US for a week for a week on business and have been doing the whole ’table for one’ when I go out for dinner so tonight I decided against sitting at the bar reading the newspaper chatting to the bartender and decided to go for a takeaway and eat in my room (in my pyjamas, sitting on the bed watching  TV – I may never go home).

Anyhoo tonight’s I opted for Mexican cuisine as that is the one type of food I am finding hard to get in London but know that the US can do it well.  The restaurant was called Chipotle and is a fairly well known chain (for everyone but me apparently).  The concept is like a Mexican version of Mr Sub, you order then they dress your burrito/fajita/taco in front of you and put on your choice of salsa, sour cream, cheese, corn etc etc.  I opted for a fajita wrap and drooled all the way down the sneeze guard as my fajita was dressed.  In typical American style this wrap wasn’t jut a little taco bell style wrap it had to be about 4 pounds of solid yummyness that probably could have fed three hungry adults.

The wrap was delicious and if you are in the US looking for a quality quick service restaurant and are hungry I recommend Chipotle – oh and for the tech savvy amongst us – standing in a queue is like, soooo , yesterday – you can order your wrap in advance either online or on your iphone.  how. cool. is. that?  I might have to go back tomorrow just to try it out.

WTF? Friday

I am sure most of you avid internet surfers have seen this site but for those of you whom haven’t, it is well worth your time.  Basically it is a collection of the most stunning examples of American trash that ever grace the aisles of Walmart.

For those of you whom haven’t had the chance to go to a Walmart picture it as the love child of a threesome between Woolworths (cheap candy and clothes), Tesco (cheap food) and Currys (cheap electronics) with a clientèle that includes WAG’s whom enjoy getting value for their money and chavs who like to steal stuff.

Never mind my amazingly accurate description now you can see it for yourself….as they say, a picture says one thousand words (descriptions are stolen from the website and are not a product of my brilliant sarcasm and wit).

www.peopleofwalmart.com (the site is so popular it tends to crash, keep trying, its worth it)

Let’s run through my rock star list….Mullet? – check; big sunglasses? – check; heart shaped tattoo? – u know i love my mom; Cut jean shorts? – are there any other type of shorts?; wife beater tied at the midriff – check;….. He is an official ROCK STAR! Oklahoma

I can see they are at a photo hut. I see that. But what picture could be that important? Unless Bigfoot brought the Loch Ness monster as his date, there is no reason to be at a Walmart on your wedding day! NONE! period. Don’t bother leaving any comments telling me otherwise, because I’m not going to accept any answer other than Bigfoot and Nessie doing the electric slide. Nevada

There should be an application process in order to procreate. Texas

I’ll be watching and taking notes

I am a sucker when it comes to trickery or illusions as a kid I remember sitting in front of the TV watching David Copperfield (the American illusionist not the Dickens novel) make a train disappear in front of my eyes.  When I moved to the UK I stumbled across a show featuring the English illusionist Derren Brown.  After watching him select a random audience member ask her four questions including the name of a newspaper, a page number and a word then producing a newspaper in a sealed box with the word she said circled on the page number she picked, I was hooked.

Dont even start to tell me she was seeded in the audience because I BELIEVE….Anyhoo my Britlusionist has a new show starting this week and he will start by predicting the lottery numbers live on TV on Wednesday.  Don’t be surprised if you find me cross-legged with my nose too close to the TV just like I did when ol’ Copperfield worked his magic….and if you don’t hear from me after next week’s draw, I am on some island counting my winnings.

PS  I don’t want to hear any comments like ‘if he can predict the lottery why doesn’t he just make his money predicting the lottery’.  I don’t know, maybe he has enough money and wants to share his talents with the world….or he’s crazy, or it’s a big ploy by the National lottery, or….I don’t know. Just watch it.

Still doubling up on the hand sanitizer

Thought you would want a little update on the swine flu situation.
1) The neighbour is alive and fully recovered from his bout with swine flu and the bonus is that he has given up smoking so now I can sit on the couch in my PJ’s and not have him watching me from his balcony while going out for various smoke breaks.
2) Sneezy swine flu man is popping up everywhere.  This was my favourite as it popped on the a cash machine screen. It actually grossed me me out as I pictured his sneeze drips all over the keypad…thankfully I had my hand sanitizer with me and doused myself with it afterwards

3) The sneezing person image seems to be international as I presume this is the Spanish version of a public service announcement about swine flu (although I am not sure I would want to catch something called  Gripe A – it sounds pretty serious)

4) How’s this for irony? The main actor dude in the swine flu ad caught swine flu!  Thankfully he wasn’t hired to teach us how to cross safely at train tracks or he might be in a whole lot more trouble.

WTF? Friday

I am a big fan of keeping dry in the rain and making kids look idiotic so you can see why I found this gadget so ingenious! I introduce UFO Cap umbrella…

You can’t tell me that if a kid walked by you wearing this you wouldn’t think WTF?

Don’t worry they are easy to store as well…although I can’t help but think this Instruction ‘Menual’ resembles a giant prophylactic. I swear, I can’t make this stuff up

Happily ever after…

Since we moved here, we have had been able to witness two weddings out of the country, one in Austria and the other this past Bank Holiday weekend in Barcelona….unfortunately, we haven’t witnessed any UK weddings but are putting adequate pressure on some of our friends to take the plunge so we can go to one.

The wedding this weekend was in an absolutely beautiful venue slightly outside of Barcelona.  We arrived by coach and were given a fruit smoothie and fruit kebabs to give us something nice and nutritious before moving on to beverages of the alcoholic variety.

The ceremony was outside under slightly threatening skies but as luck would have it the rain held off and it turned out to be a beautiful and clear night.  Because the groom is Swedish and the bride Spanish, bits of the ceremony were done in each language as well as English which made me feel utterly ashamed of only  being uni-lingual (and not very good at the one I do speak).

Following the ceremony we were ushered to a garden terrace area where we had drinks and were served more varieties of tapas than I even knew existed.  My favourites included spinach balls rolled in almonds and drizzled in honey, tempura shrimp, toasted bread with parma ham and a pork/veggie/almond dish just to name a few.  This went on for ages until our bellies were almost bursting at which point we moved to our table under the stars for dinner.

Dinner was also fantastic and throughout the meal we were able to witness  Spanish and Swedish wedding traditions.  It started by greeting the bride and groom by spinning our napkin above our heads like a helicopter and cheering them in.  Then was the ‘table wave’ where everyone at the table banged their hands on the table top and screamed at which point they then all point to another table who then had to carry on the banging/screaming/pointing until one table screws it up or every table has a chance to participate.  The next tradition was brought by the Swedes and includes all the women at the wedding going up and kissing the groom on the cheek whenever the bride left her spot at the table and vice versa. I tried my best to make up some random tradition that I would claim was Canadian but couldn’t come up with anything.

Overall it was a great night that bled into the morning as we didn’t get back to our hotel until 5:30 am which apparently is another of the great Spanish traditions.  All in all it was a spectacular weekend and we are very happy for the newlyweds (and thankful for the invite!)