It’s probably not what you think….

So it turns out that they don’t use the word caulk or caulking here and to be honest the exact second the word came out of my mouth I knew this.  I didn’t even need to see the horrified look on my colleagues faces before realising that even if they did use that word it would sound posh as they probably pronounce the ‘L’ and say cal-k or something less dirty sounding.

To explain, a colleague asked me what I am up to this weekend and I said ‘I desperately need to caulk my bathroom so I might try my hand at caulking’ (I added that last bit as soon as I realised she did not know that word ergo I needed to repeat it again for comic relief).

To clarify I was talking about caulking as in sealing our shower to prevent leaks….and to be honest the more I say it the word more ridiculous it sounds (similar to that whole milk thing growing up) and I think I have to side with the English on this one and say sealant from now on….it won’t however prevent me from running the caulk joke to the ground in this post.

And yes, on top of how ridiculous the word sounds, I am aware of how pathetic the whole concept of spending my weekend ’sealing’ the bathroom actually is…because of that I now change my answer to said question and my new response is ‘I am going to lay in the park, get drunk and have a Sunday roast’ all which seem to get a better response from the colleagues. Bring on the weekend!

…Should I have put a disclaimer on this post? Surely you can’t get that worked up over a little caulk…hahah yes, I am 13 years old and the more I say/type it, the funnier it sounds.

Thank you for being a friend…

As I mentioned I was a big fan of Golden Girls and remember being able to stay up well past my bedtime to watch it with my two great aunts, so I was sad to hear that another of the legendary actresses has passed away. Bea Arthur (played Dorothy) died  at her home yesterday at 86 after battling cancer. I  loved her dry wit and I aspire to deliver sarcastic one liners with a full head of grey hair as well as she did.

PS do you have the theme song stuck in your head now like I do?

——

Rose: Can I ask a dumb question?
Dorothy: Better than anyone I know.

—————-

Dorothy: How come whenever my ship comes in it’s leaking?

———

Blanche: I can’t believe you said that! Oh if I weren’t a lady I’d deck you.
Dorothy: You try and I’ll have you on your back so fast you’ll think you’re out on a date.

——-

Blanche: Dorothy, this is crazy! Since when do you care how you look?
Dorothy: I think it started when I came down from the bell tower and had my hump fixed!

WTF? Friday

This gives a new meaning for ‘take one for the road’ …I can understand being able to get a big thermos of your favourite coffee or a take home tub of your favourite ice cream but your favourite beer??  And two pints of it?  Amazing.

Basically it’s a milk carton with a clip on the top that the bartender takes off to fill it up.  Then when you put the clip back on you rip it open like you do a milk carton (and probably drink straight from it as you do a milk carton as well).

The alcoholic beverage innovations here are quite amazing:  individual wine portions, pre packaged shots, now take home pint cartons – what will they think of next?  I will be falling off the edge of my bar stool waiting to find out.

Steeeeerrrrrike

**Update (cause I know you were all dying to know) I didn’t have to pay for my trip home as apparently the overground staff were made aware of the situation.  I also heard that the strike will be over tonight and the trains will be back on track tomorrow (pardon the pun).  I guess the whole door situation must have gotten solved, I feel much safer now, thanks.

So the Victoria line is on strike today which made it annoying to get to work…especially since I was told my ticket was valid on the over ground trains only to find out when I got to the station that the over ground staff were not told of this glitch and I had no proof so I had to argue with them for 10 minutes then still pay the fare. The worst bit was that 5 seconds after leaving the station (after paying) I received an official email from Transport for London confirming that the over ground would accept my ticket…bugger.

Please pay particular attention to the bit in yellow...next time they should tell the overground staff

Anyhoo my favourite bit about this whole exercise is the reason for the strike, apparently one of the reasons is because of London Underground’s ‘failure to address claimed safety concerns over train door operation’.

I do commend them for worrying so much about our safety that they will strike over it but I also find it fairly coincidental that it is on the hottest day of the year so far. I think I am going to strike too, the tap water at the office is too hot and I am afraid people will burn themselves…that’s it, I am on strike, if you need me I will be sunning myself in the park.

Home for a rest…

We are home from another trip to Canada…this time it was for a wedding that the hubby was in and I was the emcee. Being home made me realise a few things:
1) I can’t eat like I used to…the portions seem huge and I have no idea how I ever got through a full Keg steak in the past
2) Canadians don’t use the word redundant like we do here, there it is only used when being repetitive versus here where it is used to mean that you lost your job ie being made redundant
3) I miss ketchup chips (crisps), rye (and coke or ginger ale), Swedish berries and Caesars
4) Driving on a sunny day while cranking up the radio and singing along is fun however traffic jams and trying to find parking is not
5) It is dumb that you can’t buy alcohol in a grocery store in Canada
6) The Go train is huge – this is our equivalent to the overground and has two levels but I forgot how big it was until I stood beside one and it towered over me (to be fair most things tower over me)

7) Everything is big, the mayonnaise containers, washing machines and grocery stores

8.) Being charged for incoming calls on mobile phones is ridiculous and I have no idea why mobile providers in Canada/US have been getting away with it for this long
9) I love that taxes are included in the prices in the UK – less math for me to do
10) Tim Hortons is the Canadian equivalent to the pub, people go there to relax, read the newspaper or meet friends and it makes them happy (although unlike a pub you can grab a drink and take it in the car)

I am sure there are more but that’s all I can think of for now as I am still tired from the wedding and the flight….

WTF? Friday

So everyone here has been chatting about Britain’s Got Talent as they have been broadcasting Susan Boyle’s audition and various interviews with her all week.  My mom then asked me if I had seen the ‘quick change’ couple from the American version (America’s Got Talent…duh)  I hadn’t, but I googled it and I have to say it’s pretty neat.  Apparently these guys got pretty far and are now doing a show in Las Vegas…is this doesn’t get you to say WTF? I am not sure what will.

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! It’s still early here in Canada but the Easter bunny has arrived bringing some of my favourite Easter chocolates (basically anything that has marshmallow and chocolate together) which I had for breakfast (I’m an adult, I can do that sort of thing).

My nieces however (hopefully they can’t read this) are getting something called a Webkinz bunny.  For those of you not up on the latest stuffed animal technology,  they are like the modern day version of  beanie babies but  come with a special code printed on a sealed tag that you register online.  Once online, your animal gets a little house and some points you can use to spend on furnishing their house (presumably you can spend real money to buy more fake points to furnish your fake online house for your fake online bunny).  You log in to feed and entertain your animal then can connect with other webkinz and invite them over to play.

I was fairly intrigued when I first heard that there was something web based associated with this stuffed animal but I was expecting a bit more.  Something like a GPS chip that located the bunny on google maps or a sensor that could report back to the computer as to how much time you actually spent playing with the thing -  no such luck,  you are really just paying $15 for a 9 digit code attached to a fairly boring stuffed animal (as you can imagine, I was hard to entertain as a kid).

Anyhoo I am sure they will love them as their technological expectations aren’t as high as their nerdy auntie….I will just try not to get chocolately marshmallow goo all over them.

WTF? Friday

I am still not conviced that this isn’t a joke.  Its called the Uroclub and contrary to how it sounds, it has nothing to do with being European, as it might sound, it has everything to do with your-a-peein’ (OMG I kill me).

It is a hollow club which you men are to wee in when you are stuck on a golf course with no where to ‘go’.  They even throw in a privacy attachment in the form of a bright green towel…yeah no one will think that it is strange if you have a green towel hovering over your crotch like some sort of dirty magician/stripper.

Is this really necessary?  Aren’t you outside? near trees? or a clubhouse?  I can understand a urinary relief tool for skiiers, or desert explorers or sky divers who really don’ thave any other options but as a golfer it seems that there are other opportunieies than weeing down a tube (which i am sure can’t be silent) then having to dispose of it – yeah no one will look if you take a golf club with you to the mens toilets in the club house,  screw off the end then pour it down the urinal…sorry gadget dudes, this one gets a fail from me…although arguably I am not the target audience on this one.  I’m better suited for a she wee.

Right now..

I have always been fascinated with random facts (like that kid on Jerry Maguire ‘the human head weighs 8lbs’). I especially like random facts that have to do with technology so is no surprise that I am intrigued with the Sprint Now campaign dealing with exactly that both in a TV advert and online.

To be fair I am also a very skeptical person so not sure how many of these statistics are true but it does amaze me that so many people can be doing the same thing all over the world (like leaving their cell phone in a taxi – I forgot my credit card at a bar this weekend and I am now sure loads of other people did it as well – just maybe not at the same bar).

The campaign website (which you can literally kill hours on playing with each little widgit) is awash with random facts and statistics for your viewing pleasure. For the most part, the statistics seem reliable however the thing falls down a bit for me when the google widget says that ‘Frankie Avalon’ is the top term searched for today…hunh? I do however, believe the one about the babies being born as I think I know half of them, I am convinced there is a baby boom on in 2009….that’s right folks, you heard it here first.

Alright, back to watching the sticky note production numbers increase….I love sticky notes, I have one stuck to my wallet right now reminding me of the things I have to do today (Mom will be so proud to read that).

How bout those odds?

We had a lovely weekend with P&C, our Canadian friends, whom are visiting for the weekend. One of the highlights was on Saturday when we headed to the pub to watch the Grand National horse race. As per my (fairly lengthily) post last year on this. It is the most bet-on race in the UK as it truly is a race that just about any horse can win as it is so unpredictable (as long as he has a jockey on his back which I learnt the hard way).

The race is fairly long (30 jumps) and the jumps are quite large, some with ditches on the other side causing horses to fall, riders to fall off and a bunch of jockey-less riders cluttering the track.

This year was one of those spectacular ones when the winner was truly unexpected. His odds were set at 100-1 meaning if you had the dumb luck to pick this guy…you did quite well. Chances of that were slim it seemed as we were in a packed bar and only one person had chosen the winner. Even the mother of the jockey only placed a bet of 50p on her own SON!! Hopefully she buys him something nice with her £50 (I wouldn’t go as far as to suggest new teeth as a BBC reporter is getting in some trouble for doing that already….I was just thinking a pint or two to say ’sorry for not believing in you’).

Anyway P&C seemed to thoroughly enjoy the (marginally inhumane) event and I think it added a little British-ness to the trip (as have the multiple pints of London Pride and John Smiths and trips to Primark).